Animal testing…

…will not be conducted for any recipe in my book — but sometimes it happens by accident. I make a very concentrated moisturizer which I call “elbow grease” in honor of DIY cleaners’ unfair reputation. I use it for my elbows but also my feet, and when I put it on at night by the time I wake up my skin feels unbelievably soft. This cream drives my dog crazy. He will follow me around and try to lick any exposed surface. I have to wear socks and cover up or he will not leave me alone.

I just discovered something else my dog likes: that lint modeling compound I made two weeks ago. It had dried out and I had taken the pieces down. They were pretty cool, lightweight but strong. I left them on a low table till I got the chance to paint some of the pieces and take a few pictures — but when I came home last night all the small ones were gone, and the larger piece, which was still in its plastic mold, was in my beagle’s jaw. So far, so good, he doesn’t seem sick at all, but just thinking of eating that stuff makes me want to vomit.

In the photo on the right you can see the half chewed remains of the lint mask I’d been planning on making — and how desperately my dog is lusting after it.

(Originally published March 5, 2010)

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